Feeling Good

I am living this quote right now and just savoring it. New job = New Growth.

Celeb Inspiration: Demi Lovato #2 "The Unfriending"

Thumbs up to BuzzFeed for this great list of quotes from Demi. Any artist who finds strength in their missteps and pain gets my respect. Also, despite the intense public eye, disassociating from one of her oldest friends, Selena Gomez, for whatever the reason is another strong self-health move. Choosing the people in your life is difficult, and sometimes through no fault of their own, you simply don't like who you are around them. Don't make excuses and feel socially obligated to do anything. You can't choose your family or the people you work with, but you can definitely choose your friends, and you can decide who you listen to and let into your space.

Be Proud and Use Your Words

I'm going to bring up appearances. We all know that it can take a lot to feel comfortable in your own skin. However, once you do the work and start having a semblance of those feelings or even a full on "I'm always looking fine" attitude, it doesn't stop others from commenting. I've learned that I really don't want to take part in that and try to keep things positive. I love complimenting strangers when they are looking fabulous or people I know who are trying something new. How you look is of course a reflection of what you are feeling inside. So somehow, after working through the worst parts of my depression, color felt safe to introduce back into my daily wardrobe and I actually wore real clothes instead of pajamas

What it boils down to is that I'm proud to be me and I'd rather wear a smile, so when people in my life, particularly family, because they are only trying to be helpful (*eyeroll*) make me feel bad by commenting on my hair, my weight, my clothes, my ANYTHING...I say "I don't want to hear it." I actually say that. I don't find it helpful, I find it hurtful. I realize other people are the ones that have to look at me, but I'm the one that has to BE me, so what I say goes.

On a semi-related note, I think back to how the depth of my depression could possibly be related to how often I looked in the mirror. Days of not showering or simply the one lone middle of the night, bathroom mirror stare down, sadness reflected back....After all that, I have to listen to anyone tell me how I should cut or grow my hair??? Nope.

Self Health Check-in

Exactly one week after cleaning up a lot of the clutter in my bedroom and rearranging the furniture, I have maintained a neater space. It is not about laziness, it is about knowing that I'm a visual person and feel less stressed without the clutter. Don't get me wrong, it still exists, let's not go digging in drawers and closets, but it's there for my eyes to see when I am ready to tackle it and not staring me in the face every day.

Here are some more items to add to the list of things that make me feel good: listening to my music on my commute instead of the radio (my car CD player is broken but sometimes silence was better than morning talk garbage), listening to pandora's "Today's Comedy" station at night time, trying yoga, getting a snuggle from a baby that loves you, and getting criticized in a dream and even subconsciously knowing it's not true.

Food for Thought: Eckhart Tolle Quote -EDIT-

"You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge."

-Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

EDIT: I think on its own, this quote probably seems super "New Age-y" but I think what hit me most while reading it is the idea that we're already good. At our core, we are good and we don't have to spend our whole lives trying to become good and "be on our best behavior" and guilt ourselves into things we "should" do etc. Understanding that who you are, as you are right now, is a good person. What Eckhart Tolle goes on to say is that the ego, aka that voice in our head narrating our thoughts, is what blocks that idea from us. It can be easy for us to downplay our accomplishments in order to not seem too arrogant and so many other versions of judgement that we place on ourselves. Instead of worrying about "doing the right thing" etc. I want to just be me and be okay with that and know that I have my own path.

Internet Inspiration: BuzzFeed's "25 Things You DON'T Need To Do Before You Die"

This list is a refreshing reminder that we buy into the idea of things we HAVE to do all the time. Or places we need to see before or by a deadline...before you have kids, before you turn 30, 40, 50 etc. In actuality, these are arbitrary deadlines. For example, #12:

"You don’t need to achieve major success by a specific point in your life. Success can come early, or late in life. And it’s something you have to define for yourself."

This is something I struggle with on the daily. How can I be successful if I don't have A and B and C? It's a process like anything else, so celebrating the big and small things that are working for you is important. Otherwise, you will always feel like a failure.

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Worthy

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And You Are Enough