In the News: Tony Scott and Suicide

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It seems like it's been awhile since there has been a high profile celebrity suicide in the news...or at least one that was so clearly a suicide. It had a strange effect on me as the initial reports were breaking. I finally felt like, "Wow, I 100% can relate to that feeling." As much as we want to put that dark place and all that pain behind us, it can be so easily accessed again when you meet someone or hear of someone who is struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide.

The rumors surrounding Tony Scott's death, such as whether or not he was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer before taking his life, I think show how uncomfortable the media and the general public is with handling questions of suicide. He has it all! Success! Money! Fame! Family! etc. And we even satisfy ourselves with the answer of "we'll never know why."

I obviously can only speak for myself and my experience and that is to say, even being young and intelligent, and having family and friends, and born in this fabulous day and age...my depression was so bad I felt almost inhuman with apathy. Nothing mattered. Luckily, I reached out, I got help. I asked to go on medication. And the worst it got I was on medication and I asked to change medications because it clearly wasn't helping.

All I want to do with my life is help others, but it turned out I really needed to help myself first. All that is available is the belief that it's not supposed to be like this. There is help. There's no quick fix, but it will be so worth it. I really feel like I wouldn't be this happy now if I hadn't been so unhappy before.

The difference now is that I access that pain in a new way. Reflecting on it rather than letting it completely overwhelm me. It's nice to be able to feel a range of emotions as opposed to just one, but it's still a process.

Celebs Who Inspire: Demi Lovato

Pic/Interview at Seventeen.com
You'll notice Demi is also a supporter of the Love is Louder Movement! 

I've been wanting to write about Demi Lovato for awhile. Finally, I was up in the middle of the night thinking about it, so I decided it was time. It's important to note that I was a fan of Demi's before all this, she is a super talented singer and has pipes that rival Kelly Clarkson's. However, since she has opened up about her struggles, I find that my admiration and respect for her has deepened immensely. In fact, when she said she didn't know she was bipolar until going into treatment, I realized "Wow, there must be so many people that don't know they're bipolar, depressed, etc." This may sound obvious, but it was honestly the first time I had really thought about it in terms of how severe an impact that would cause on people's lives.

I began to realize that I was probably one of the many who are currently undiagnosed, with a mental illness or disorder.

I was hitting another period of depression in my life, but I, buying into the stereotypes, was both not interested in medication and thought it would eventually go away. As Demi started to share her story, I began to educate myself on the bipolar spectrum and also major depressive disorder. What were other people's experiences? I didn't want just a list of symptoms, I wanted to here what people went through.

This was a turning point for me, finding myself identifying more and more with these stories, I finally asked my therapist to recommend someone to evaluate me and started trying out medications. Trying out medications hasn't been a particularly fun process, but I had to hope that eventually I would find peace. At the moment, things are going very well.

So the reason I wanted to honor Demi Lovato is that her story was really the catalyst for my story to move on to the next chapter. I started this blog in hopes of inspires others in even the smallest way, and to continue to express my own experience that I kept hidden for so many years. Even though Demi is 6 years younger than me, I really look up to her. Inspiration is where you find it.

Demi shares in her MTV documentary "Stay Strong," that she can't say she hasn't relapsed since being in treatment. I think it's extremely important to share with others that the journey isn't a smooth one, and I appreciate her candidness. I've included the first part of her documentary here, all of which is worth the watch and available on MTV.com

Get More: Music News

Also, I previously included her song "Skyscraper" in my first post on Music that Inspires:



What do you think of Demi's story? Who has inspired you?

In the News: Too Much Focus on Happiness?

This short clip I stumbled across raises some interesting questions. If we are constantly focused on 'being happy' we could end up being miserable. I think often times we don't really have a clear idea of what being happy looks like for us. Being carefree is not truly a possibility as an adult (however, I did spend a fair chunk of my adolescence being miserable with depression, which I wish on no teen). And maybe just as often we really think others are so happy in comparison and they are not. I think the best we can do is be open and honest about our pain and try to lean on others for support.

At the same time, another thought being raised here: "Is happiness a choice?" This of course is something I struggle with so much. Mind over matter. I do believe in the power of positive thinking, however, sometimes my mind fights a losing battle with my depression. Then I think, "I'm weak, I don't deserve to be happy."

Unfortunately, this discussion was so brief, and I really think there's a lot more meat to it. I do like the suggestion of breaking it down to small, conscious choices to improve your mood. Some things I do are:

1) When a song is in my head, I like to find it and listen it, and sing along.
2) When I'm out and about, I try to smile at people and show patience.
3) If someone lets me cut in during traffic, they always get a wave :-)
4) I like something, I say something because why not share the good stuff?
5) If I need to be reminded there's good in world, I watch this

What are your 'happy' choices?

In the News: Bullying and Suicide

This is consistently a hot topic and an important discussion to continue, as teens continue to commit suicide in the face of bullying. Is it possible that bullying has actually grown worse over the years? What are the other possible factors--lack of dialogue and underdeveloped coping strategies due to the detachment of the "techno" age? Is it a fad, now that bullying has become a hot button issue? With all that we know about how high risk teens are for depression, and possible ties to becoming bullying victims, is a crackdown on bullying the best solution?

As Dr. Drew points out, the bullies are not well themselves. We need to better recognize those in need of help and it is the shared responsibility of everyone. These teens might still be with us today if a friend recognized there was a serious problem and know how to act on it. I think suicide talk among teens is often said jokingly or hyperbole.

What do you think? How can we help prevent these suicides?

In the News: Facebook Depression

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Facebook and social media have always proven to be quite controversial, mostly because we recognize that there may be unforeseeable consequences to their use. Most people have noted for themselves the lack of interpersonal skills that the new tech generation has. Texting, email, and posting on each other's Facebook walls are more popular forms of indirect communication favored by the younger set.

Now a new report by the American Academy of Pediatrics (www.aap.org) has pointed out a new hazard of social media use called "Facebook depression." There is an "intensity" in the online world that parallels real world social circles and therefore, someone who feels ignored and excluded in virtual world may then exhibit the same depressive symptoms as someone in the real world. I think the internet has both the power to connect and the power to isolate. What is of particular concern is the fact that it may be even more isolating if you consider that many people use the internet when they are by themselves.

I think it's important to keep in mind that social media sites, despite their name, should not replace socializing in person. We lose the ability to understand each other as human beings via the internet because you cannot comprehend someone's facial expression or tone of voice through an email, text or a status update. I suspect that miscommunication has also been on the rise despite everyone becoming more able to connect with a wider range of people.

Full original report can be found here

What do you like/dislike about social media sites?