In the News: Tony Scott and Suicide

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It seems like it's been awhile since there has been a high profile celebrity suicide in the news...or at least one that was so clearly a suicide. It had a strange effect on me as the initial reports were breaking. I finally felt like, "Wow, I 100% can relate to that feeling." As much as we want to put that dark place and all that pain behind us, it can be so easily accessed again when you meet someone or hear of someone who is struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide.

The rumors surrounding Tony Scott's death, such as whether or not he was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer before taking his life, I think show how uncomfortable the media and the general public is with handling questions of suicide. He has it all! Success! Money! Fame! Family! etc. And we even satisfy ourselves with the answer of "we'll never know why."

I obviously can only speak for myself and my experience and that is to say, even being young and intelligent, and having family and friends, and born in this fabulous day and age...my depression was so bad I felt almost inhuman with apathy. Nothing mattered. Luckily, I reached out, I got help. I asked to go on medication. And the worst it got I was on medication and I asked to change medications because it clearly wasn't helping.

All I want to do with my life is help others, but it turned out I really needed to help myself first. All that is available is the belief that it's not supposed to be like this. There is help. There's no quick fix, but it will be so worth it. I really feel like I wouldn't be this happy now if I hadn't been so unhappy before.

The difference now is that I access that pain in a new way. Reflecting on it rather than letting it completely overwhelm me. It's nice to be able to feel a range of emotions as opposed to just one, but it's still a process.

Depression in Fiction: Ducks in a Row By Yours Truly

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Here is another little piece of me. A short story I wrote a few months ago, about two friends that suffer from depression. It's the first time I ever really tackled anything 'serious' in my writing, but it felt really good to get out. I'm able to sort out my thoughts and emotions a lot better through writing, than I ever feel like I can through talking. I feel like I can pause, reflect, erase, re-word. But once you say something, you can't un-say it. Plus, I always turned to writing because I could say all that I wanted without being ignored. My characters were able to have conversations that I wanted to have, they were bolder and accepted and listened to. I didn't want to write about 'real' things because I needed an escape from my awful reality. Now, I find, that I really do need to reach deep down and pull out this stuff in order to write something that is meaningful to me.
Here is an excerpt (it's short because the story itself isn't terribly long):

                "Sam didn’t want to take meds, didn’t want to see doctors. She knew that was the long journey and it didn’t guarantee she would ever stop feeling useless and undeserving.

                That was all I could guess anyways, about why she’d tried it.

                It.

                The rumors were much more gruesome, blood and razors. I knew different, thanks to a grim conversation many months before. I missed her birthday party and she was so angry, I came clean about my meds, having just switched over and feeling too nauseous to attend.

                Everything spilled out then. She had thought I was the paragon of normal, albeit a little antisocial. Then she shocked me further by revealing how apathetic she felt sometimes—like so little really mattered.

                As our conversation unfolded, I was both cheered and distressed. We were closer than ever, but more similar than I was used to. "

 The full story can be found at http://mc-writes.blogspot.com 

Depression in Fiction: Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Photo from http://www.thirteenreasonswhy.com/

This debut novel by Jay Asher caught my eye as a book lover by continuing to resurface on the New York Times Best-Seller list. I am a big fan of young adult fiction, but initially I wasn't interested in reading a book dealing with teen suicide.

From the official book website:
"Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker--his classmate and crush--who committed suicide two weeks earlier. On tape, Hannah explains that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he'll find out how he made the list. Through Hannah and Clay's dual narratives, debut author Jay Asher weaves an intricate and heartrending story of confusion and desperation that will deeply affect teen readers."

The premise made me nervous. I imagined an angry, depressed teenager planning revenge against her tormentors, hoping to crush them with guilt after her death. How was this kind of bitter story going to help?

However, the book kept resurfacing, and I knew it had to be a richer story than that. I actually listened to the audio version, which was extremely powerful, like I was hearing Hannah's tapes along with the other main character, Clay. As the story unfolded, we are taken on a journey of chain reactions. Rumors compound with bullying and accusations and self-perception. Ultimately, we see both the power of speaking up and reaching out. Through Clay, we gain hope for the future. I would definitely recommend this book as it is so layered, and would be a great catalyst for discussions (a discussion guide is conveniently posted on the official website).

The book's website also has a great community based on reactions to the book, called 13RWproject, where readers are encouraged to share their stories.

In the News: Bullying and Suicide

This is consistently a hot topic and an important discussion to continue, as teens continue to commit suicide in the face of bullying. Is it possible that bullying has actually grown worse over the years? What are the other possible factors--lack of dialogue and underdeveloped coping strategies due to the detachment of the "techno" age? Is it a fad, now that bullying has become a hot button issue? With all that we know about how high risk teens are for depression, and possible ties to becoming bullying victims, is a crackdown on bullying the best solution?

As Dr. Drew points out, the bullies are not well themselves. We need to better recognize those in need of help and it is the shared responsibility of everyone. These teens might still be with us today if a friend recognized there was a serious problem and know how to act on it. I think suicide talk among teens is often said jokingly or hyperbole.

What do you think? How can we help prevent these suicides?