Thursday, July 19, 2012

Update: Trusting Your Instincts

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So I forewarned that I would be MIA from this blog as I finish up my master's in the next few weeks (final presentation August 12th!!!). However, I did want to say that things have been going extremely well. I feel more sure of myself than I've ever been. And this was recently proven to me when dealing with a certain person and realizing that I was trying way too hard to impress them. As I figured this out, I also had a gut check moment when I truly saw that I've got really good instincts. I have a lot of amazing people in my life and that's not by accident. So when dealing with this person, I realized that I was repeating some past patterns that were going to ultimately lead to me feeling bad about myself because I wasn't putting myself on equal ground with this person (I was putting them above me). So a big weight was lifted when I made the choice not to continue with that relationship anymore. The next day I immediately felt so much better.

I think the biggest change I can credit a bit to this blog. I was always very secretive and as I've grown over these past few months especially I feel myself opening up a lot more. Being honest and straightforward is coming more naturally. First it was out of necessity, but now it's out of habit. And it has been immensely helpful.

It's harder now, because I feel like I'm a little in hindsight mode, to be as helpful to others in terms of talking about my depression. At the same time, I know I'm in a good place right now because of all the hard work I put in on myself. Unfortunately, I'm also headed into the rough waters of searching for a job, which in the past has been an incredibly demoralizing process. I'm arming myself with as much support as possible now, and hopefully I will be able to navigate it better this time around.


  1. There is great strength in yuor writing..

    I know you will be fine about the job because you are sending signals pout there that you are a person of strength that is up to the task..

    1. have no idea how much I needed to hear that this morning. Thank you :-)