Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Today I Feel...Inspired

Photo credit / More by artist 
In a bit of a reversal, as my emotions are sometimes in constant swing, I feel very inspired today. After the last "Today I Feel" post, things were not so hot. I missed some classes, got behind on work, even skipped therapy which I NEVER do. I just felt so disconnected, ugly, worthless and...defeated, as I mentioned. Luckily, I made it though, and it was my lowest low, because the only thing that got me through was the fact that I had started new medication and thought I should wait to see if it may kick in. And it did.

I actually feel medicated now, which is a bit of a downside, but at the same time, I know I need it to help get my life back in order. So I'm pretty grateful for that. I also decided to open up and tell more people in my life about my depression. I somehow wanted to preserve this "normal" image in their eyes and honestly, that isn't my normal. And I'm actually hurting myself by trying to keep up appearances, as being depressed was my secret shame.

This past weekend I had to present my blog to my advocacy class (hence the previous post) and I feel like I 'came out' as a person that suffers from depression/anxiety. It felt really good.

I feel inspired now, as today the host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour Paul Gilmartin commented on my blog post on the show, and it was really encouraging. Then looking back, I found out that Teresa Strasser who I really respect and admire had actually responded to my comment on her blog too. Seriously, when you reach out and are honest, people do respond, maybe in not the ways you expect, but they do.

1 comment:

  1. Way to go! I love that you are being open about something that so many people experience. When I first started writing my blog, tons of people wrote to me to tell me that they too suffered from depression or anxiety or any number of other challenges. People find it refreshing when someone is open and sincere. Good luck with your journey. Don't ever stop having hope.